I didn't like what I was doing before.
School and such things like it is full of tedium and disinterest. Everything else blended together and became the same gray poison that fueled my growing addiction to cave dwelling and unnatural light provided by a monitor. I am done trying so hard to feel something other than anguish artificially. I can't explain the details, but I hope my parents can both forgive me for being so utterly awful to them; and I hope that later in life I will develop friends that are both encouraging and fun to be around, that will not bring me down to their level and expect me to bend over backwards to do things with them. I don't know what made me such a bitter, selfish, poison spouting monster that I am but I will do everything I can to right these wrongs, and to write these wrongs, so that I wont feel so unheard and ignored.
This is my prayer, my eulogy, my sacrifice, and my silent perseverance.
I will do my best to never speak hatred unto someone.
I wont try and find excuses to feel good about myself - especially artificial ones.
I will pay back what I owe the people that I do.
And I will then pay forward everything I have either in necessity for myself or for the better of the world.
I will change. And I will be happy.